PETA has launched a campaign to rename fish “sea kittens.” Apparently, fish are just suffering from some bad PR.
People don’t seem to like fish. They’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you’re swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.
Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You’ve done enough damage, buddy. We’ve got it from here. And we’re going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?
I’m thinking this could really go two ways.
. . . .
Mike Luckovich had some ideas for other image makeovers.
I have to disagree with PETA, though. I like fish alot. Anyone up for some kitten and chips?
“If economists wished to study the horse, they wouldn’t go and look at horses. They’d sit in their studies and say to themselves, ‘What would I do if I were a horse?'”
— Ely Devons, 1913–1967
I just finished using the chainsaw to cut up some downed trees in the backyard. We’ll use them for firewood. Something about using a chainsaw just makes you feel like you can take care of shit. I may be faced with a tanking economy, out of control government intervention, and salary cuts at the firm, but I’ll be able to take care of mine because I know how to use a chainsaw. It must push a primordial button somewhere.
The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles.
— Jeff Cooper, 1920-2006
Only the guilty need fear the law, right?
Tamera Jo Freeman was on a Frontier Airlines flight to Denver in 2007 when her two children began to quarrel over the window shade and then spilled a Bloody Mary into her lap.
She spanked each of them on the thigh with three swats. It was a small incident, but one that in the heightened anxiety after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks would eventually have enormous ramifications for Freeman and her children.
A flight attendant confronted Freeman, who responded by hurling a few profanities and throwing what remained of a can of tomato juice on the floor.
The incident aboard the Frontier flight ultimately led to Freeman’s arrest and conviction for a federal felony defined as an act of terrorism under the Patriot Act . . . .
. . .
After three months in jail, Freeman agreed to plead guilty in exchange for being released on probation. A court-appointed attorney told her that a plea deal would be the fastest way to see her children, who had been taken back to Hawaii and put into foster care.
Her probation required her to stay in Oklahoma City, where she grew up, and prohibited her from flying. Meanwhile, legal proceedings in Hawaii have begun to allow the children’s foster parents to adopt them.
Freeman has been denied permission to attend custody hearings in Maui over the last six months, court records show.
“I have cried. I have cried for my children every day,” Freeman said. “I feel the system is failing me.”
It appears that it is impossible to see any of the archived material on the old site. So, I am in the process of moving everything over here (a tedious task).
In the off chance that you actually want to find something from the archives, wait around a while, and it should show up.